Saturday, August 14, 2010

BP meds, fashion and hope

What do the three have in common? Uh... I don't know that's just what I felt like titling this. :-)

Still no update on either the transplant or the home dialysis (PD) yet but I do have a relatively small health update before I write whatever else I want. The physician's assistant (PA) at the dialysis center came by today with some new blood pressure medication to take in addition to my current BP med in hopes that it will bring my BP down in the next few days. It works slower so I shouldn't have any sudden drops in my BP and almost pass out like what happened the quick acting medicine that they gave me on Thursday.

However, my current BP medication isn't changing so when I run out of this new medicine than what's to keep my BP from sky-rocketing again if my current medicine isn't doing anything? I don't know, I guess we'll see. I didn't have a bad headache today, though, so I'm glad for that. I want to think that I'm tolerating dialysis better but I usually think that on Saturday because I feel considerably better on Saturday than Tuesdays. I was told this is because of the ups and downs in the blood levels because of dialysis being only every other day and then a two day break. The toxins in my blood are going to start building up Sunday through Monday and then when I go for dialysis on Tuesday the machine is gonna have a lot of work to do stripping my blood of all those toxins. Lovely, isn't it? (Note the sarcasm...)

With that being said, here's what else I feel like writing about. For those of you that do not know, I'm very interested in fashion. I LOVE LOVE LOVE (yes, really love) shoes more than anything, but clothes and accessorizing will hold my attention like nothing else. I did consider the fashion industry at one time but my fascination with this has really become more of a hobby than anything else.

My favorite TV show that I watch whenever I have the chance (which isn't too often, normally, since my family doesn't have cable) is TLC's "What NOT To Wear" and I would happily watch my friends, Stacy and Clinton, radically transform frumpy, unkempt people into stylish, classy members of society all day long if I could. Unfortunately, my favorite show doesn't play very often and I usually only get one episode on Thursdays when I'm at the dialysis center.

This is assuming I have control of the TV, which usually I do, but the center only has one TV every two chairs and I almost got into a battle over the TV with a one-legged man who, I think (I'm giving him the benefit of a doubt, here), didn't think I was watching so he changed the channel. I let him have it until he had to go to the bathroom and then I changed it back to what I was watching. He came back and fell asleep but if he had tried to change it again I told my mom that it was not going to pretty.

Ahem. All that to say, now that I'm sharing the TV with an elderly man who sleeps the entire time and doesn't watch TV when he's awake, I get it all to myself and can watch whatever I want. But my favorite show won't play every time I'm there so I've had to get familiar with some other channels and find something semi-decent to watch. So lately, I've been watching America's Next Top Model by Tyra Banks on Bravo. Bravo has another designer show that I like to watch too but I can't remember what it's called at the moment.

Tyra Banks, for those that don't know, is a retired model and has her own show and her own company and probably her own brand of perfume somewhere too. ANTM was playing reruns today and the show was down to seven contestants and the photo-shoot was going to portray each one as a seven-deadly sin. After applying some ghoulish makeup and changing into their outfits (which were none too skimpy to say the least), the models were lowered into the bottom of an eight-foot grave with their props, and told to display anger, pride, envy, lust... etc. until the photographer got what they wanted.

I was watching this as the nurse was unhooking me from the dialysis machine and we both heard Tyra Banks' second hand guy in the show say "This is the kind of shot you'll see in a high-fashion magazine..." We both said at the same time "That's fashion!?" My nurse, then made a comment about how, if that was fashionable, she didn't want to be fashionable anymore. I agreed.

I realize that they were portraying the seven deadly sins in their shots but they were told to display them "sexily" and to show off their "sexuality" in the shot. And that is where the fashion movement is going today, people. It's been going that way a long time and what we have going on today is a public dressing down of people world-wide and turning people into sex-objects.

Girls are being taught at younger and younger ages to show off their body, strut and flaunt, flirt and wear high heels and makeup. And we wonder why so many women are abused? They may very possibly be provoking their attacker without even realizing it! That breaks my heart for them.

Simple matter of truth, cover up. It's more dignified, classy and professional (not to mention safer with all the sexual predators around today) to wear modest, loose (not skin-tight) clothing that fit you well than to "let it all hang out."

The media is bombarding us with images of ghoulish, half-dressed, sexy looking women (whose photos may be doctored anyway!) and telling us that this is fashion. Here's my answer to them... NO! They say fashion is all about advancement and individuality as well but, in reality, the Industry wants everyone to look the same and buy their product. Mascara commercials show women with a whole lot more than mascara on their eyes (as in, the heavy eye-liner) looking like strippers because that's "fashionable" and that's what their mascara will do for you. Like I want to look like a stripper!

No thanks! I'll make my own fashion and I'll wear it confidently and defiantly of anyone who tells me that I would look better in skinny jeans and tank tops. Oh, and if you couldn't tell from this, I love dress codes too and think that any institution should enforce a dress code to all workers and that all underwear commercials should be banned from Cable TV completely.

And that little spiel went waaaay longer than I thought and I'm probably gonna scare everyone away from my blog with my opinions but if other people's opinions are enough to rattle you than maybe you shouldn't be reading anybody's blog. My hope is that my opinion will help you shape and form your own and that you know you're just as free to share your opinion as I am and if we disagree then let's do so in a respectful manner. Life is too short to spend squabbling over differences of opinion.

I am going to close this post with a request for prayer that I would be able to go to church tomorrow (and wear my "fashionable" clothes! haha!) Last week, I had made plans to go and then I got sick, so this week, I'm not going to say one way or another whether I'm going to be able to go or not because I just don't know right now. I'm going to plan for it and get all cleaned up tonight but when it really comes down to it, I'm not going to know until my mom wakes me up tomorrow morning and asks me if I'm going to go or not. Church is going to take a lot out of me energy wise but I haven't been anywhere except the dialysis center (and the ER once) since my surgery and I am beginning to feel like a caged animal. Trapped and stuck are too adjectives that come to mind right now...

Unlike last week, though, I'm not getting my hopes up. Yes, I'll still be disappointed if I can't go because, unlike what Buddha teaches, we cannot empty ourselves of desire so we will always have some measure of disappointment when we don't get what we want because that's how God created us. You're welcome to believe otherwise if you want (because I will be *tolerant* of you even if you're not tolerant of me... ah, another post for another time) but Buddha is wrong and the Bible is right no matter how you look at it. And I choose to believe what is TRUE even if I'm not seeing that truth in my life because of how dark it is right now.

(For the record... I do NOT recommend America's Next Top Model and I do recommend What NOT To Wear with the caution that they do use mild profanity (mostly blasphemy, unfortunately)

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