Sunday, August 11, 2013

New Blog

To anyone who pops in to check if I've written anything new, I have now started a new blog that you can follow over here.


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Some Pictures

So today we went to a waterfall, we were going to go to a place called Rainbow Falls but the trail was closed because of damage so we didn't get to go where we wanted. But we were still able to get some pretty sweet waterfall shots and other great pictures.

And I am working with some of the best people ever. Everyone is super photogenic and loves taking pictures and having their picture taken. I sometimes forget to take my photos because I'm too busy posing for others (because I kinda like that side of the camera better....) and everyone is so nice and encouraging. We all have our different strengths and even though some of the students are clearly more advanced, they aren't condescending and they're here to learn. It's great!

Anyway, here are a handful of shots that you can look at and enjoy. And if you're friends with me on Facebook, get ready to vote for a picture of mine that IPS will put on their page as a contest for us. The picture with the most votes is the winner and gets a prize. :-) Be looking for that tomorrow!

Click on the photos to get a closer view.

My stop motion. I'm in love with stop motion water photos

Self portrait that you take while spinning around so that the background blurs. 

This was taken by Holly Bentley. We have lots of fun!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Life goes on and on and on

Long time no blog! Life has been happening like I can't believe, y'all! And I've got so much to tell you and not a whole lot of time to write so I'm not even gonna try to sum up everything that happened and I'll just jump in with what's going on now.

I am in Colorado! I'm taking a weeklong photography course in the cutest little town called Manitou Springs. I hope sometime this week I'll be able to put up some of my photos.

It was quite the adventure getting here. My flight to Colorado was canceled so I had a huge layover in DFW until I could get another flight. I sat on the floor, people watched, bought an awesome cherry strudel, listened to music, checked Facebook, put pictures on Instagram, and was basically bored out of my skull until my flight finally took off. Unfortunately, my luggage was not on the same flight as me and that was a bit frustrating to have to go without until it came in today but I have some really good friends here who don't mind letting me borrow their clothes.

Also, I hate altitude sickness. Colorado is BEAUTIFUL but I could never live here because supposedly it takes about a year to completely adjust to the altitude and I have been feeling off since I got in last night. I had a nosebleed this morning because the air is so dry and I have random moments of nausea and headaches. Drinking lots of water is supposed to help.... but maybe I'm not drinking enough because I haven't noticed any difference  yet.

I'll be heading back out on Saturday but I'll let you know more details about that when I get back. I'm learning so much about photography and it's been so fun. The group of people here are super great and we've all hit it off really well. I know I prefer modeling for the other photographers here than actually taking photos but I'm getting better and I'm really excited about our shoot tomorrow at a place called Rainbow Falls. It's gonna be great!

Anyway, I think that's all for now, I'll try to post some pictures this week of some shots I've taken and give some more updates. Hope y'all had a marvelous Monday! <3 p="p">

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Sing a Song Sunday

Well, it's Sunday and that means it's time to share with you another one of my songs that I like. :-) I've got a few more blog posts in progress that (I hope) you should see this week. Trying to keep to a schedule is a little more work than I thought, it requires a plan which requires more thinking and I seem to be really resistant to anything that resembles responsibility and maturity and you know, grown up stuff in general so that's good for me to plan and think these things through a bit.

This week's song is "Alligator Sky" by Adam Young (Owl City). He writes a lot of fun, random, happy songs and is most well known for the song "Fireflies." My housemates and I were all listening to Owl City this morning while we got ready for church. We would just kind of break out dancing at random moments, usually with a section of our hair curled up in the curling iron, or with mascara wands or makeup brushes. It was a great start to my day!

"Alligator Sky" is currently my favorite of his, it's just kinda random and fun. I take it as it's talking about a fun adventure and here's some advice like remember to breathe because it'll take your breath away, remember to scream because you're gonna be lost for words, remember to live because you're gonna be thrilled to death, stuff like that. I just let my imagine go with this song and it makes me smile. I hope you smile too. :-D

The Song:

The Lyrics:
Where was I when the rockets came to life?
And carried you away into the Alligator Sky?
Even though I'll never know what's up ahead,
I'm never letting go, I'm never letting go!

Remember to breathe, because it'll take your breath away,
When the engines cough, and you blast off.
Ignite the night with a firecracker flash.

Remember to live, 'cause you're gonna be thrilled to death,
When the stars collide and your eyes grow wide.
Take it in with your breath against the glass.

Remember to dream because it's gonna be a starry night,
Over every town, if you look down.
So harmonize with the singing satellites.

Remember to scream because you're gonna be lost for words,
When the sparks erupt and they light you up.
Dip your toes in the galaxy 'cause it's yours to explore tonight.

Where was I when the rockets came to life?
And carried you away into the Alligator Sky?
Even though I'll never know what's up ahead,
I'm never letting go, I'm never letting go!

Rollercoaster through the atmosphere,
I'm drowning in this starry serenade,
We're ecstasy because cavalier,
My imagination's taking me away.
Reverie whisper in my ear,
I'm scared to death that I'll never be afraid,

Rollercoaster through the atmosphere,
My imagination's taking me away.
Let's hear it for the Universe,
Where it never hurts,
Diving in head-first.
Take a taste of the melting Milky Way.

And remember to laugh 'cause you're living in a crazy world,
Where you'll never guess what could happen next.
Give the outer limits my regards as you float to fly away.

Where was I when the rockets came to life?
And carried you away into the Alligator Sky?
Even though I'll never know what's up ahead,
I'm never letting go, I'm never letting go!

Where was I when the rockets came to life?

And carried you away into the Alligator Sky?
Even though I'll never know what's up ahead,
I'm never letting go, I'm never letting go!
The Alligator Sky,
The Alligator Sky,
The Alligator Sky.

P.S. I also really like "Meteor Showers", "Galaxies", "Hello Seattle", and "Saltwater Room". Just to name a few more. If you want to listen to a really funny song and have a good laugh, look up "Deer in the Headlights" on youtube. The song is hysterical and the music video is even better!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


But this time it will actually be more wordless because the pictures kinda speak for themselves. These were all taken by me :-) Enjoy!

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Imagine that you have just committed a crime of unspeakable evil and you were caught by the authorities. You're sitting in the courtroom waiting for the judge to deliver the verdict: Guilty or Not Guilty

But you already know the answer before the judge even speaks.


You committed the crime, you pay the price. As the death sentence is being spoken someone steps up and offers to take your place. Nobody is more shocked than you, especially given that the person willing to take your punishment as his own, is none other than the judge's only son. And he was the most stand-up guy you could ever meet, never breaking the law, never doing anything wrong. He was the model citizen and he just asked his father for your death sentence.

Now, you are no longer guilty, but innocent. Someone else is paying for the consequences of your actions as if they had committed the crime and not you.

But accepting your innocence, and living in the freedom of your innocence are two different things. Yes, the prison cell is open but are you still living inside?

We are humans. We are a far cry from ever being perfect while we live on this earth. But God doesn't require perfection, he just asks for progress. When we fall, we need to get back up. God forgives us and we can move on. Read that again.

Why do let ourselves dredge up our past and all the guilty feelings that go with that? If you've asked God to forgive you, he has and you don't need to keep punishing yourself for something that's been taken off your record and removed from you. That no longer defines you.

Guilt is not from God. This is something I've been repeating to myself constantly these past few weeks because it's not a concept I'm familiar with. Yes, I believe Jesus died on the cross for my sin and took my punishment. Yes, I believe that he offers grace and mercy and love and freedom. Yes, I believe that I have been forgiven and that in Christ I am a new creation, that when God looks at me, he sees Jesus and not my sin.

But I don't live like that. I live like I'm the scum of the earth, not worthy to even be entering the church doors. That I don't deserve to fellowship with other Christians who, you know, have it all together (because everyone has it all together but me, right?). That if they knew the struggles that went on in my heart they wouldn't want to have anything to do with me (never mind that this has been disproven countless times, I still FEEL that way every now and then).

So if I say I believe one thing and then act like I don't, what does that make me?

It makes me a hypocrite. And we all know how much everyone loves a hypocrite. That God's word isn't enough for me. That yes, he's forgiven me but I still have to punish myself because Christ's gruesome death on the cross wasn't enough for me. What? How can that not be enough!?

How can Christ's death on the cross not be enough for you?

Live like it, people. Live like you believe his death is enough to cover your sins and stop punishing yourself for past mistakes that you've already asked his forgiveness for.

We sang this song in church today and I am always so moved by the words. Our names are written on God's hands and our life is hid with Christ. God made an end of all our sins (including past, present and future sins) we only need to look to him. 

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
The great High Priest whose name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is written on His hands
My name is graven on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there the risen Lamb
My perfect spotless Rightousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God

Monday, July 23, 2012

A Letter To My Body

Ok, so I know this might look strange, but seriously, writing this was really, really, really hard. I was inspired by this post here (and you really should just stop right now and read this one first. It's jaw-droppingly real and honest and so so powerful) and I decided to do something similar. I was pretty surprised at my reaction. I teared up, I got angry, I had to stop a few times because facing this ugly side of myself was overwhelming. I felt some old wounds reopening and I started to question why I had even decided to do this but then, as I pushed through and kept writing, I began to see some healing. (And seriously, you should go read Lauren Nicole's before you start mine.)

Dear Body,

I need to tell you something. I know what you're probably thinking, that this is going to be another one of my rants against you like I usually do whenever we talk but that's not it. This time, I think you'll actually like what I'm going to say.

I actually have two things to tell you. 

I'm sorry and thank you.

I know. You're probably shocked. I've never told you I'm sorry or thank you before in the almost 21 and a half years that you've known me. Maybe you don't believe me but it's true. Things are going to be different between us now, I promise. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to realize how awful I've treated you but I've been brought face to face with my anger and hatred towards you, my selfishness, my ungratefulness for all you've done and the only thing I can do is to try and apologize.

There's so many ways I've wronged you that I'm not even sure where to start but here's my most earnest attempt at reconciling with you.

I am sorry for all the judgmental and critical looks I've given you in the mirror as I get ready for the day. 

I'm sorry for all the negative comments I've thrown at you, for the way that I constantly compare you to others and berate you for not looking more like them. 

I'm sorry for always wishing you looked like everybody else, even though everybody else doesn't look anything alike.

I'm sorry for not appreciating everything that you can do for me and cursing you for not being able to do more. 

I'm sorry for ignoring your pleas to stop and pushing you harder than you were able to go and then hating you for not being able to keep up.

I'm sorry for not treating you the way that you should have been treated, taking care of you instead of neglecting you.

I'm so terribly sorry for wanting to kill you with a handful of pills when you were fighting so hard just to stay alive when your kidneys failed.

You've never really asked for much, but I still complain that you need medication regularly even though you're doing all you can to stay well. I just hate trying to remember to take them every day and then I feel guilty when I don't remember. It's just hard sometimes, you know? Of course you know. I'm the one who doesn't get how hard it is for you to keep accepting a new organ that you weren't born with. 

I'm seeing now, that if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have been able to see God's power in my life. His strength being made perfect in my weakness. I wouldn't have experienced his love being poured out on me and through me to reach others in an awesome display of glory. 

So thank you. Thank you for being the way you are. Every tiny detail is perfect and I don't want to change anything about you now that I see you for what you really are. When I railed against you for not being what I wanted, it wasn't you that I was mad at, it was the one who made you. 

How could I have hated this gift of my body that was made so perfectly in the image of a loving God who only gives the best to his children? The fact that every little thing about you was so lovingly designed and hand-crafted with uniquenesses that aren't like anybody should thrill me, and I hope you know that it does. It does now. It's not easy sometimes, because I'm human and I want things that I don't have, but I promise that I'll work on being content with what I've been given and remember that there's a reason for everything.

When I look in the mirror, I promise that I will look at you in a whole new light, the way you were meant to be looked at. I will not start nit-picking at flaws, because you aren't flawed. I will love your little quirks and be glad that I have something that isn't like everybody else. I will love you the way that you are and stop wishing I could change you because that would mean changing the story that God meant for us to have and it's a beautiful story that doesn't need to be changed at all. 

Yours always,
Kristin Lanae