Sunday, October 31, 2010


Tomorrow I leave for Oklahoma City... TOMORROW!? Yes, tomorrow. I knew it was going to come up fast but it's still hard to believe that I only just heard about my transplant about 20 days ago... Some days just sort of felt like they were dragging by just to spite me. Some days it was like I blinked and they were gone. And now, it feels like I had just heard the news and now I'm leaving.

A part of me doesn't feel ready and the other part has been ready since April when I first knew I needed a transplant. One part of me wonders whether I can emotionally handle everything that could happen and the other part knows that God will give me the grace when I need it so I can handle anything that comes my way. One part of me wants to scream in terror and run away as fast as I can while the other part of me wants to scream and run TOWARDS this "monster" with my sword raised high, ready for battle. One part of me is majorly stressed out while the other part is extremely, unusually calm. Sometimes I want to cry, laugh, scream with fear, squeal with excitement, be angry, be happy, be sad, be joyful, be depressed or be encouraged.

Obviously, I'm having very mixed emotions about all this. I'm pretty sure that's normal (I hope it's normal!) so I'm not worried about it. I also wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I'm a girl and can get very (no, VERY) caught up in my emotional roller-coaster at times. (But that is normal, for sure!)

It's weird to think that this will probably be my last blog post from home unless I post one up before I leave tomorrow but I was thinking of waiting until I got to wherever we are staying tomorrow night (Still not quite sure on that) and that way I could write more about the trip and everything since I'll have actually experienced it.

So, here's to a whole new adventure that's starting tomorrow. Tomorrow... I need to finish packing!

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