Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Rome wasn't built in a day

Actually, come to think of it, I don't think anything grand and spectacular and wonderful was built in a day. I remember staying with my grandparents and watching the new houses being built behind theirs and the workers would put one up in a week or two but sometimes it would take longer. Heartland Baptist Bible College just built a brand new chapel (which is absolutely beautiful) and it took over a year (give or take) before that was finished.

Disneyworld, Six Flags, the pyramids, Solomon's temple, the Great Wall of China, Big Ben, the leaning tower of Pisa, etc. etc. None of these were built in a day.

Likewise, complete recovery from surgery, major accidents or chronic illness isn't going to happen in a day.

I'm getting out more, doing a little more. It's hard to know when I need to push myself or when I need to just take it easy. I think I just want to take everything easy right now because of the fear of pushing myself too hard. I used to be such a go, go, go kind of person, pushing myself to the limit, and then I'd crash when whatever we were doing (conferences, rallies, youth activities, revival meetings, retreats) was over. I'd rest up and recoup for the next big thing and then the cycle would repeat.

Now... I don't really want to go anywhere because I don't want to overdo it. I've turned into a stay, stay, stay kind of person instead. I don't know what my limits are as far as energy and physical activities go but I know that they don't go very far and I definitely do not want to risk even getting close to them, much less pushing past them.

I'm wondering how much of recovery is psychological. Am I just so used to being "sick" that I don't know what being well looks like? Am I really low on energy or do I just think I am? Are my physical limits really as close as I think they are or am I just too scared of what might happen to find out?

I don't really know the answers to those questions but I do know that Rome wasn't built in a day. So rebuilding my life isn't going to happen in a day, either. In fact, God is going to be working on my until the day I die and only then, will I be complete and perfect. Someday soon...


  1. I know my situation isn't nearly so drastic as yours (Thank God I still have all my own organs!) but I'm still right there with you. I went to see my doctor just last Friday and he said that as he was looking at my body it was getting better but that I wouldn't be noticing the results for a bit of time yet.
    "Am I so used to being sick that I don't know what well looks like?"
    I've thought this a million and one times. My mom always encourages me that when I'm supposed to get up and do something I won't be able not to. Kind of the idea that God in me won't let me be a fearful lazy bum so I can trust him to kick me out of bed before that happens. I suppose she's right, but it is terribly confusing.
    Thanks for writing, it's encouraging to me. Love, ya!

  2. I just finished reading your blogs from when you told me about them way back in October. Yeah, I know, that took a while! Well, I just wanted to let you know that reading your blogs has been such a huge blessing for me. So many times I found myself nodding vehemently in agreement, laughing with joy at your wonderful sense of humor, and all the while being struck with the knowledge that this slew of blessed encouragement was coming from someone who was going through a HUGE trial in her life. God has truly been using you as His tool to bless others, and I am so glad to find such a willing servant. Thanks so much for writing Kristi!

    Your sister in Christ,