Second by second

Now that I'm supposed to stay home and keep myself well (as in, not any more sick than I already am) I want to go out. Before, when I should have been getting out more, I was cranky and I didn't want to go out anywhere, it was too hard to schedule dialysis around going out, and I was definitely being anti-social because people only wanted to talk to me about kidney-related things. I'm sure I frustrated my parents by being so stubborn and (basically) refusing to leave the comforts of my house and now... I'm going out because I want to be out.

Maybe someone should tell me I'm not allowed to eat and then I'll be so hungry I'll eat more... :-p

I promise, though, after the concert tonight, I'll stay home. Except for maybe church on Sundays, if I  feel up to going. 

In other news, plans are being made and things are actually happening. I don't feel like I'm sitting around waiting for nothing, anymore. I don't have to worry about my dad not clearing. I don't have to wonder what I'm going to do if this happens or that doesn't work out. My life no longer feels like it's drifting aimlessly out in the middle of nowhere. I have a goal, something I can visibly see, something tangible that I can move towards. 

I spend a lot of time in my room and it's usually quiet enough that I can hear the second hand on the clock ticking. It used to discourage me to hear that sound because I knew that each second I heard sounded off was a second of my life spend sick in bed, and I literally felt like I was wasting away. Now, I love to hear the  clock ticking because I know with each tick, I am one second closer to being off dialysis, one second closer to getting well, one second closer to being able to do things again... one second closer to getting my life back. It's going to be a GREAT Thanksgiving this year.

13 more days