The joys of being an adult...

This picture is from two years ago but it's a funny one of me and my youngest brother, Jim. We're about 8 years apart and our birthdays are a week apart. He's a bundle of laughs, if you couldn't tell from the pic.

Jimmy is at the age right now where he things he is all grown up and he can do anything that his older siblings can do. Anything that we do that he finds "fun" that is. Stuff like watching movies that he's not allowed to see yet or being able to go to parties and social gatherings with our friends. He thinks he's old enough to do all of that and yet still young enough to play on the jumpy castle with the little kids. Jim is at that awkward "in between" age  right now where he's still "little" when it suits him and then he's all grown up when he wants to hang out with the older kids.

What Jim doesn't see right now is how good he's got it. He doesn't have to worry about learning how to drive, finding a job, looking at health insurance, managing your finances, getting married, buying a house, taking care of your kids, etc. etc. All he has to do is school and chores and then he's free to play computer games or legos to his hearts content.

Lucky kid.

Currently, I'm still getting the whole driving thing down (almost there!), I'll be looking for a job before the summer's over, gotta learn how to manage the finances, I'm on a hunt for new health insurance (when I turn 21, I lose my coverage under my dad's job in the military), and the biggest stress of all... I'm getting married next month!!!

Ok, totally kidding on getting married. :-) But all the other ones are true.

It's hard being a grown-up and it's hard to make choices like health insurance and jobs and what you're gonna do with your money because you can't see into the future to know if you're making the right decision. I just want to bang my head into the wall a couple of times when the stress of things get to me. But that's a part of growing up, right? Even though I might feel a little crushed under the weight of responsibility, I know I can rise to the challenge because I have the help of my family and friends.

Do you ever wish you a kid again, free from big responsibilities and worries over whether you're making the right choices? I do.

My current project

Hey y'all! :-)

A lot has happened in the last few weeks that it was a real chore to try and keep up with the blog but now it looks as if things are settling down a little bit (a lull in the storm, maybe? I'm such a pessimist.) and I have some things to share with you. Ok, well... one thing actually but there will be more, I promise.

My current project right now has been a huge overhaul of my bedroom. I'm pretty sure I wrote before about having my own room for the summer (and most likely longer since my sister is heading off for college after camp) and that means trying to get it arranged and organized for one person (me) while still being available to another person (my sister) or two (friends!) should my sister come back for visits or need to come home for whatever reason and God forbid it's for anything similar to why I had to come home.

Unfortunately, my sister and I pretty much never organized anything when we shared the room together and that means there are years (not kidding) of stuff that was shoved in boxes and pushed under the bed or up onto closet shelves that I am now needing to decide if they belong or if they're trashed.

Plus, the closet needed to be painted and the walls need some major touch ups done. I just painted the closet yesterday and put in another shelf/clothes rod so that's a major improvement, but it also meant everything in and around the closet had to be moved aside so I almost had a pile of clothes that went halfway to the ceiling and I know a stack of boxes made it higher.

I do not have a bedframe anymore either, so I've currently been sleeping on my mattress on the floor, but  that will change this Friday if me and my dad can make it down to my Uncle Dave's house to get this cute little daybed from him. My plan is to make the top part of the daybed all nice and pretty and treat it like a couch and then I'll pull the trundle out from under at night to sleep on and in the morning, I don't have to make my bed very much at all because it's shoved back under the daybed out of sight! I know, I know... I just hate making the bed. And then my sister or a friend can have the top part of the bed whenever they're here. Super great space saver!

I've made a ton of progress on this since I started, there's still a lot more work to be done but most of it will be fairly minor compared to the major mess I'm working on right now. So there's no "after" pictures but here are some "before" and "during" pics to show you.

 Forget monsters in the closet, I'm scared I'm going to be swallowed by the stuff that's spilling out. 

Trying to stack stuff around the perimeter because I have nowhere else to put it.

I can see the floor of my closet again, and it's almost ready for painting.

I am a messy painter. This is a bad picture but you can see most of my paint "freckles" on my hands and arms. There were more on my elbows and even on my legs, how'd that happen!?

Closet is painted and my extra shelf is screwed in. So much more closet space now, I love it!

Not lovin' this so much though. Most of the stacks of boxes are gone but I still gotta deal with the pile of clothes and get them all hung up in the closet or folded in the dresser. 

I know I'm gonna love it once it's done, but the process of getting there is not always fun. It's been really good to have something to keep myself busy, though and I'm glad to be able to get the room fixed up real nice for once. I'm thinking the place needs some more lime green... :-)

"Blessings"

My mom shared this song with me a while back but it's been on my mind again lately after the death in my family (see previous post).

It's a beautiful song and a good reminder to me whenever I feel overwhelmed by the disappointments in my life that sometimes God's blessings come through "rain drops", His mercies may come masked as difficult times, and when I can't sleep at night it's because He wants me to know He's close.

Enjoy.

In the blink of an eye

Time flies so fast sometimes. I didn't mean to take such a long break from blogging but I know all too well that life does not go by plan (well, not by MY plan anyway).

I had a great time in El Paso and hit up two big malls with my sister-in-law (we know how to shop, let me tell ya!) while my dad and brothers were checking out the Carlsbad Caves in New Mexico. I ended up driving home on Monday (another little thing that didn't go as planned) and on the way home, my mom called and said that my Grandpa had taken a turn for the worse, was back in ICU and that she was going to go down and see him that day and wanted to take me with her if I was up for it.

So I was home for about two hours re-packing and then I got in the car with my mom to go down to Fort Worth to see my Grandpa. We stayed with my Uncle for a week watching my Grandpa get worse and realizing the gravity of the situation until last Tuesday when he passed away about 9:00 that evening. My mom and I came home the following day to get the rest of our family together before going back down Saturday for the memorial service. My sister and my older brother were both able to make it home so our whole family could be together during this time of loss for us.

When stuff like this happens, it gives you a perspective on things that you didn't have before. How short your life really is. That the choices you make have consequences. That your life affects every person around you in one way or another. That it's more important to love and be loved than anything else. That every life has it's end and that we need to be ready for what comes after.

I'll get better pictures up soon but for now, this one will do. My Grampa Bob gave this angel to me when I was in the hospital for my 18th Birthday.

Gone for weekend!

Hey y'all, I just wanted to write real quick and let you know that I'm going to be gone for the weekend (and probably longer, almost a whole week actually) and I'd like to ask for prayers as we travel. Me, my dad, and my three younger brothers are heading out super early tomorrow to drive over to El Paso, Tx where my older brother and his wife live. My dad will bring my brothers back home on Monday but I'm gonna stay a few days longer and come back with my sister-in-law.

I'm really looking forward to hanging out with them (not looking forward to the really long drive) and I'm excited to be able to spend some girl time with my sister-in-law. :-D I'm also just glad I can make a trip like this since I wouldn't have been able to do something like this a month ago. I try hard not to take my energy and mostly good health that i have right now for granted and I hope you don't take your health for granted either. That's one of those things that can be taken away very suddenly.

Anyway, I will try to blog while I'm there and get pictures and stuff up here but if I'm too busy having fun with my brother and his wife then I might not be able to. So just a heads up in case I'm gone for a bit. I appreciate you keeping me and my family in your prayers. :-)

I'll write again soon!
<3

Long time, no update

Ok, so things around here haven't really settled down any but it's not nearly as stressful as it was when I last blogged to tell y'all I was taking a break from here soooo... I figured I kept y'all waiting long enough without hearing from me and, to be honest, I missed blogging.

I kept thinking "Oh, I need to write about this! I need to tell everyone about that! I need to remember this for my blog!" I'm not sure if I'm actually going to remember everything but I do have a lot to update y'all on and I'm sure I'll get to everything that's important. :-)

First off, my grandpa is doing much better and he is out of the ICU. I hope to be able to write and say that he'll be able to go home soon, we just don't know when that will be just yet but we are very grateful that he is doing better and has been able to tolerate the chemo treatments well. He did lose his hair and that's been hard for him as well as just all-around general discouragement so please keep remembering him in your prayers and for his family as well as we continue to walk through this difficult time in our lives.

As for me, I'm continuing to improve and finally feel like I'm back on my feet again. I still keep checking over my shoulder sometimes, just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I'm still pretty cautious about what I do but that's getting better too. College is still out for me, for now. I just can't quite bring myself to commit to anything "big" like that just yet but I am looking at getting a job towards the end of summer and am really looking forward to that.

Some big news is that my sister (my one and only favorite sister, mind you) is leaving early tomorrow morning to go work on staff at Southland Christian Camp in Louisiana (I'm too lazy to look up the website and link to it, I'll do it later...) and she'll be gone until August where she'll have 13 days at home before she packs up again and heads off to Heartland Baptist Bible College (again, no link. You can google them both if you're bored) where she will get a one-year Bible certificate before she heads off to... who knows next. This girl is so full of big, crazy plans that there's no telling where God will lead her next.

Some goofy pictures we took yesterday because.... we're goofy. Today at church, she was given a journal and was prayed over, along with some others who were leaving and was given lots of hugs and goodbyes (and there were tears... but I'm saving mine until tomorrow). Then we went out together with some friends to eat lunch, before heading over to the mall to watch Soul Surfer (LOVED THIS MOVIE) and then we shopped till we dropped (almost). Do I know how to send my sister off well or what? :-)

If you think of my girl, Bethany, say a prayer for her. This is going to be a big year for her with lots of fun, lots of difficulties, lots of growing and the Lord is going to be working in her life in many ways. She  won't be coming back the same girl, that's for sure and I'm so excited (and so sad because I'm gonna miss her terribly) for my sister. She's my goober girl, my roommate, my biggest annoyance and my best friend. And as much I'm gonna love having my own room for a while, I'm most definitely gonna miss her more.

I'll write again soon!

Just so you know

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while but there's been a situation in my family that has taken a lot of my attention and I haven't had time to post anything.

I wanted to let y'all know just so you don't think I've been ignoring my blog after I had just decided on keeping it up. I do still fully intend on posting more and I have some pictures that I want to share too so stay tuned for those.

My Grandpa has lung cancer and he hasn't been doing too well. Me and my mom drove down to see him (He's about two hours away from where we live) last weekend and stayed over with my uncle so we could spend some time with him. My whole family came down today (I'm sitting in a hospital waiting room while I type this) and we're waiting our turns to see him (He's in the ICU and only two-three people are allowed at a time).

I'll update more on him later when I find the words to say. Things could go either way right now because you just can never know with things like this. And until things calm down a little bit, I've got to turn my focus on some other things so Life Happens is going to be a lower priority for me right now. 

I know y'all understand and I promise to get right back into regular updating as soon as I can. (I've got too many fun pictures to share!) 

Please be in prayer for my Grandpa (he is doing much better today so that's a good thing), and the rest of my family as we continue to walk through this difficult time together. Thank y'all so much and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. :-)