New look, new direction

So..... I've been an epic fail lately in keeping up my little blog here. Life Happens is heading towards the same destination where all of my past blogs have ended up. The Dead Blog Zone. Most of them with their last post being something like "I promise/resolve/will try to update more regularly!" and then they're done. Never to be touched or barely looked at by their author again. Sad, but true.

However, I like blogging. And I don't really want to end LH just yet. I started this blog as a better way to update friends and relatives on the status of my health/surgeries/general wellbeing since I wasn't able to contact everyone personally and to have others share my updates was like game of telephone where the original message becomes... different and slightly or mostly exaggerated. But I had hoped that once things with my health settled down a bit, (i.e. Once I was well again) then I would be able to transition into more non-kidney related things.

Since I'm not "well" like I thought I would be by now (hardly anything happens the way we think they should, unfortunately), I'm not seeing the blog transition into life updates versus health updates because I'm not exactly transitioning from being sick to being well. At least not quickly and smoothly, anyway.

And because I didn't have anything else to really post about except the same ol' "Lefty's great, felt better today, not so good yesterday, lab levels are all fine, blah, blah, blah" I just..... didn't post anything. That's the start of how all my blogs head to The Dead Blog Zone. I don't want to post anymore, I lose interest, I don't care anymore, etc, etc.

But like I said before, I like LH and I don't want to stop writing if I know people are still reading. LH has been the most popular, most read little blog I've ever had, and that's sorta the whole point of a blog isn't it? To write something that others will read?

It doesn't look to me like anybody's interested in reading my health updates as much as I'm interested in writing them. The kidney thing is starting to get a little old, both here on the blog and in my every day life. It's time to move on.

So I've given the blog a new look and I'm going to start posting a lot more regularly... even if it's just a picture (oh yes, more pictures) or a Bible verse or something small and "unblog-worthy" like that. There will definitely still be me just rambling on about whatever happened to be on my mind or maybe I'll write something super deep and spiritual, and maybe I'll just write about how cool I think my new feather earrings are. The point is, that there will be something new every week that will, I hope, give y'all a better idea of who I am (for those that don't know me well) and give us all a much needed break from Lefty the Kidney.

Don't worry though, I will be sure to let y'all know how Lefty and I are doing periodically or if something comes up that needs y'all's prayer.

And, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, I like comments. Even little ones. They let me know that you're still reading and that you're still interested in Life Happens like I am. I'm not very good with the statistic graph thing that tells me how many hits I got during the week and stuff but I love checking my comments box and reading what you have to say. So leave a comment, if you will, and let me know what you think of the new design and if you'd be interested in reading LH even if I start writing all sorts of random little things, and if not, then I would love to know what you would be interested in reading.

Also, just to help start off the randomness (and maybe elicit some comments) here's a picture of me with a diamond stuck on my nose as a pretend nose piercing. I'm thinking about getting my nose pierced this summer and I've been wearing stick-ons to play around with it a little. What do you think?

It's the little things

Things like:

Laughing with my mom...


Sleeping over at a friend's house...


Quoting funny movies with my brothers...


Talking on the phone for hours with people I love...


Looking at pictures on Facebook...


Sharing first impressions and laughing about how wrong or right they were...


Feeling special because a friend drove three hours to come see me...


Getting encouraging cards in the mail...


Wearing new clothes that make me feel pretty...


Goofing around with my sister...


Waking up with a big, silly smile the day after having a wonderful time...

                                                    




It's the little things, that are actually really big things disguised as little things, that make me smile, feel encouraged, spark a light of hope, and remind me why I live, why I keep going and why God would make someone like me. 

Life goes on!

Another hospital stay and once again I have lived to tell about it. This was, unfortunately, a little bit of a more "traumatic" (versus less traumatic meaning less "bad" things happened causing less bad memories and such) but that was mostly because of my tonsils swelling up and making it really hard and painful to swallow and eat and talk. (if you know me, then you know I LOVE talking) But it was a short visit, which I'm very glad for.

What happened was that I had somehow completely wiped out my white blood cells (WBC's) and had absolutely no neutropenic cells (no idea if I spelled that right but whatever) to fight off infection. One of the doctors told me that they usually don't see that except with chemotherapy patients and even then, the levels are usually just low. Somehow, as a result of the anti-rejection meds that I have to take, my body was able to not only get dangerously low in WBC's but also completely wipe out my neutropenic WBC's (or, as I was told, the body's "soldiers" that protect you from germs). I've got real skills, people.
:-p

They called it a neutropenic fever and I was classified as a medical emergency which meant wearing a mask in the ER and all the nurses/doctors wearing gloves, a gown and a mask whenever they came into my room (making me feel like an alien or something) until they made sure that I wasn't contagious and that my WBC level had come up enough so that I would be protected from their germs. 

Apparently this has been going on for quite a while because a neutropenia deficiency causes mouth sore/ulcers and that explains why I've been dealing with them (the mouth sores) off and on for so long. Within a couple days of IV antibiotics (blech!) the mouth sores were completely gone and the swelling in the back of my throat (mostly tonsils) went down and I could swallow and breath normally again.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday to check my kidney function because I was at risk of rejection because of the infection I had. Everything is looking good so far and the transplant center wants to see me again in two weeks to make sure that everything stays that way and continues to keep getting better. They do think I have colitis and recommended that I see a GI Specialist to make sure that my stomach/digestive tract is doing alright. My mom is pretty sure that the adjustment of my medications is going to help so we're gonna wait on seeing another doctor for right now to see if the problem my stomach's having will fix itself.

On a happier note, I have great plans for this weekend that I'm totally looking forward to (I don't look forward to very much these days, so this is really big for me!) I'm going to be in Dallas tomorrow and Saturday (my younger brothers have a Teen Court competition) and I'll get to hang out with a good friend that I haven't seen in a while. It's really a God-thing because this is one weekend where she isn't super busy and has some time to hang out with me so I am super excited and totally can't wait for tomorrow. :-D

I also just saw the movie Tangled and it is now my new second favorite movie next to Alice in Wonderland. Isn't Rapunzel cute? If you're wanting to watch a fun, cute movie that's family friendly then this would be the one. It might get a tad intense for really little kids or kids that are really sensitive (like I was!) but I loved it and had such a fun time watching it with my mom.

And that's all for now. Sorry for not updating sooner. Everything seems to be so up and down with me (not just my health) and I'm on an "up-swing" right now so I am taking advantage of that and letting y'all know how I'm doing. :-)

Just when I was starting to feel better, too! :-(

Yep, you guessed it. I'm being hospitalized again. I had an appointment last Tuesday and everything was fine except my white blood cell count was a little low. Not too big a deal, I was just supposed to avoid large groups of people and practice good hygiene.

Friday, I started feeling like I was coming down with something and I had to cancel physical therapy. It was sort of like the flu, chills and sweats, body aches and stuff like that. I felt a little better on Saturday but totally crashed today. I have a fever (102) and I feel like my head is going to explode and my body is burning up and freezing all at the same time. I've got a big canker sore in my mouth and my throat is really sore it's hard to swallow.

So far, I've been staying hydrated but I can't eat anything really solid or anything too hot or too cold. My doctor said that, because my white blood cell count is low, he doesn't want to play around and that he's getting a room ready for us.

So... There you have the latest on me. We haven't left yet but OU is about 2 hours away so we will be traveling in the dark and getting there sometime after midnight. It's gonna be a looooong night for me and my mom.

I don't know how long I'll be there but I'll do my best to keep y'all informed.
Prayers are appreciated.

Six Impossible Things

I watched Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland yesterday. My parents bought it for me as a Birthday present and I love (really, really LOVE) this movie that I decided to post my six impossible things that I believe and a random thought that came to me while watching this movie.

1. God is not incompetent and He doesn't make mistakes.

2. I can dream and plan and have hope.

3. God still loves me no matter what.

4. Scars are a beautiful thing.

5. God's plan is always perfect.

6. I can overcome my circumstances.

NOTE: If you haven't seen the movie, then this might not make a whole lot of sense.

Towards the end of the film when the White Queen is asking for a champion and the calendar thingamajig clearly shows that it's Alice, she runs. She goes to a balcony and is pacing angrily back and forth before sitting down and crying. She then sees the blue caterpillar, Absalom, who is knitting himself into a chrysalis and gives her the pep talk of the century, helping her realize that she is, indeed, "The Alice" who will slay the Jabberwocky (an evil, scary dragon). His final words to her are about the sword that must be used to kill the dragon is this:

"Remember Alice, the Vorpal sword knows what it wants. All you have to do is hold on to it."

I changed that around a little bit to this:

"Remember Kristin, God knows He wants. All you have to do is hold on to Him."

Normal

I went to the doctor's last Monday and wanted you all to know that, for the first time in forever, all of my levels were.... normal. Nothing was too high, nothing was too low, everything was great.

I just wish I felt "normal" and could say I was better now than I was last year.

I'm still on blood-thinner shots and there's no telling when the docs are gonna let me stop those. I'm still on lots of medication and still dealing with the not-so-pleasant side effects from those. I'm not sleeping well at all and that really affects how well I feel going out when I have to and whether or not I will go out when I have the choice. Physical therapy is going really well, haven't noticed that much of a difference really but I do enjoy exercising, even though I'm the only young adult surrounded by elderly people.

And once again, I don't want to post about this because I really hate talking about my kidney and/or health in general. You'd think, knowing how much I like being the center of attention, that I wouldn't mind writing about myself and telling people about me but when it comes to this, I'd rather nobody know.

I hope, someday, I'll be able to start posting about "normal" things here and learn how to have conversations with others that didn't revolve around my health. I hope I'll be well enough to go to church regularly again, get my driver's license, start a job, maybe start college all over... Now that would be something I'd enjoy writing and talking about.

I just don't want to.

I really don't want to blog right now. I don't want to write about my kidney again and tell y'all it's working great, my levels are the best they've ever been, the scar is 6-7 inches long down the right side of my stomach and the kidney bulges out of my stomach because my dad's kidney is big inside of a very tiny me. I don't want to tell you that.

I don't want to write about how discouraged I've been lately because of not being as well as I wish I was (or how I was repeatedly told I would be), that I have been having an awful time trying to sleep because my surgeon took me off of Ambien and I have next to no energy to go out anywhere, especially in the mornings like church and going out anywhere completely wears me out but still not enough to sleep soundly at night. I don't want to tell you that.

I don't want to write about how some of my anti-rejections meds have caused sores to develop in my mouth and they've been so painful it's torture to brush and floss my teeth. I've got an oral rinse waiting for pick-up at the pharmacy that should help but until they heal up I get to feel like someone punched me in the mouth a couple of times. I don't want to tell you about that either.

And I especially don't want to tell you that sometimes I don't want God to use me to encourage others (like yourself) when it's at the expense of my own comfort and how my relationship with God is in the "recovery" stage along with everything else in my life is right now. I really don't want to tell you that.

Oh, and I don't even really want to tell you about how I had an evaluation for physical therapy today even though I am looking forward to it, I just wish I didn't have to have physical therapy and was already strong and healthy and well without having to fight so hard for every millimeter of it.

So there you have it. I don't want to ask for prayers because (just right now, it will probably change in five minutes) I don't feel like they'd do any good (even though I know that's false. Key word there is *feel*) and I don't want to thank all of you for still being my friends and still doing the best you can to encourage me and help me and my family through this extremely difficult time in our life because I wish I wasn't in an extremely difficult time. But I am. And I do thank you. 

And if you want something worth reading, I highly recommend this post. It was encouraging to me and I hope it's encouraging to you. 

http://hipstersplusone.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/remix-human-91908/